EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT US AND A BIT MORE. Below you will find a little about some of our staff. Starting with the best looking one................ DAVID PALMER DIRECTOR OF TRAINING Based Head Office, Shrewsbury. He is a former traffic patrol officer and detective inspector, trained to police advanced grade one standard at a Home Office Car and Motorcycle Training School. He is an advanced examiner for cars, buses, goods vehicles and motorcycles, up to and including diploma level. He is additionally trained in covert and peripheral surveillance and high-speed escort duties. He has escorted royalty including Her Majesty the Queen and was responsible for training all the driving instructors of a major British police force. He oversees all covert surveillance and personal protection courses including those concerned with anti kidnap and escape and evasion techniques. He is a Driving Standards Agency Certified Motorcycle Instructor, an Approved Driving Instructor, and a Fleet Driving Instructor and a SAFED (Government scheme) instructor. He has been commended for driving skills by the High Courts of Justice, by Her Majesty’s Coroner, and by his former Chief Constable. He acts as Driving and Motorcycle consultant to the accredited offices within the Fast-Trak group of training companies, to RoSPA, and to a number of other independent trainers and training organisations, including, at its inception, the IRTA and the MRTG in Ireland. He has made presentations regarding road safety and rider training to National and International companies and at Ministerial level in Europe. He is also an incredibly talented man, good looking, suave and sophisticated, and, co-incidentally, is the only person with a password allowing him to edit this web site. That's why you wont find anything crap about him written here. SERENA STUBBS Based Head Office, Shrewsbury. We are not so arrogant to think we can manage a company without female organisational skills. After all, how many men do you know who can keep their house tidy. Come to think of it, how many men even know how to plug in a vacuum cleaner let alone use one. And how many men do you know who can iron a shirt? Do you take my point? When you want things organised properly, get a woman. But we are not totally stupid. You look at big bosses on the tv. They all have personal assistants and secretaries and the assistants are all women. And when you want something done, you ask the women. Since the establishment of the new company we have been trying to dream up a new title for Serena. We've even tried to give her half of it, but at the moment she is resisting. "What will I be doing in the newco then?" she asked. "Everything" we said. And that's about it really. She dictates what new work we are going to undertake, and, more to the point, who is going to do it. In reality, that means she shouts through our adjoining sliding window, "Oi, fatty. Get out and earn me some money, I've got work for you!" Upset her only if you want to reduce your lifespan by several years. She regularly reminds us of our male shortcomings, which, according to her, are too many to list. We are all lazy, forgetful, untidy, unable to multitask and are unable to walk and talk at the same time. We are all useless, fat and miserable and our only interests wear skirts, pour pints or have big engines with solderless nipples. She asked us to tell you that she is quiet and calm and never gets annoyed. There.. I've told you. And if you believe that you will have just written to Father Christmas. In addition to the power she has which she uses to inflict hurt on us mere mortals, she is also training to become a car and motorcycle instructor. She also attempted, although was not successful, to find the password for this website, so at least we men can keep a little self respect. She rides a Kawasaki Z1000 with extraordinary panache and style. We are under strict instructions not to write anything about grass tracking at the Nurburgring but what do we care? After bouncing over the rumble strips and trying to cut four miles off the course by using the lesser known field route, she was disqualified from further competition. Reducing the weight of the bike by unlawfully removing the offside exhausts by rubbing them against the crash barrier was also considered unsporting. Despite all of that though, she is also the most helpful member of our staff and without doubt the most competent, bar none. Now, just a tip. If you want anything done at our place, don't bother any of the blokes, we are just fumbling around in a haze of stupidity. So whatever you want, ask for the person in charge, and you will get put through to Serena. She might not know exactly what to do with your query but she will know someone who does. And that's how we end up doing the work in the end. BRYAN ADAMS POST TEST TRAINING Based Head Office, Shrewsbury. We had a works night out when we went to the cinema to see The Simpsons Movie. Bryan missed the first half when he got collared in the foyer signing autographs as most other viewers thought it was the star of the film making a personal appearance. Other people have said he looks more like Shrek than Homer Simpson, and yet more think he has the body of a God. Even if the God is Bhuda. Since having been rescued from a life of sin and debauchery he has risen to take over our motorcycle instructor training courses. With a gorgeous girlfriend,two good looking daughters and an intelligent son who regretably, looks like him, we can only assume he must have a secret stash of money somewhere, as, in comparison to his girlfriend, he looks as though he has been playing hunt the apple in a pan of hot chip fat. Outside work, he is an extremely accomplished musician, writing and performing for all manner of people including, believe it or not, Her Majesty the Queen. (Probably because he doesn't charge money for performing) Finally, if you have cause to speak to him,please don't mention his fat ankles unless you have about four hours to spare. And whatever you do, dont say he looks as if he has lost weight. ROSS TAYLOR Based Head Office, Shrewsbury At Christmas, we had a fancy dress party. The theme was Che Gevara. "Come dressed as a Guerilla" said the invite. Forty two people wore bandanas and carried imitation rifles. Ross went as King Kong. However, even under the fluffy suit he was easily identified, as he adopted his normal position of sitting, looking rather sheepish, fumbling between his legs. Ross holds the distinction of lapping the Nurburgring at an average speed of 40mph. This took into account a speed of 156mph on the straight bit and 15mph on the Carousel. He should have listened when he was told not to lean the bike on the banked section. Riding a Suzuki something or other around a bend with both feet on the floor does nothing for street cred. On his first trip to the Nurburgring he was told to keep a wary eye out for coaches which take sightseers around the circuit. Imagine our surprise when on returning to the group at the end, and asked about the coaches he replied, "They scared me to death, especially the double decker that overtook me on the long straight bit " If you arrive at our Shrewsbury office intending to learn to ride a motorbike, almost certainly Ross will be your instructor, as he is in charge of all learner bike training. Unfortunately, he is also a qualified car instructor and so can also be seen as a passenger in one of our cars swanning around the County. He has to teach people to drive, its the only way he can get women into a car with him. At the Christmas night out, not only did he embarress us all with the monkey episode, but listen to this. He is single, twenty and a bit, looks okay in a curly haired sort of way and, commendably doesn't drink and drive. It was for that latter reason he asked his Dad - also a biker - to drop him off at the function so he could have a pint or six. The venue was heaving with good looking, nubile women, probably numbering a hundred or so, many of whom were in need of a male companion. At five to midnight, when most of the room had found partners, Ross was approached by a seriously gorgeous, size 10, Page Three girl who wrote her phone number on his hand. "Call me anytime, you hunky, handsome sex machine. I need a virile young, handsome man to sire my children. In fact, I'm not bothered about the children, I just want sex" "Yes, okay but I can't stop now, my mom is picking me up in five minutes" And off he went. Now we wonder if he has more in common with Boy George than a Boy Racer. DEBBIE LLOYD Training Department Based Head Office, Shrewsbury   Debbie promised us faithfully that if we wrote something nice about her she would provide us with a photo of her totally naked. I think we were sorely let down. We were expecting a full frontal and we all we got was the front of her head. So, let's talk about her biking career instead. Debbie has been riding her bike reasonably well for about six months. She has had a licence however, for six years. That's six years that the Shropshire Air Ambulance has been on standby, poised to respond at a moments notice. Debbie has the only Honda Hornet with fold down stabilisers and permanently bent clutch and brake levers. She says she has them made especially shaped so her little fingers can reach them. Its difficult to understand however, why she has grooves built into her petrol tank, they just make it look as if the bike's fallen over. We might have to discuss that at a later date, unless we receive the photo we were promised. JON BLAKE LGV INSTRUCTOR & CPC TRAINER "Can you say something good about me?" Jon asked. "Not unless you know something I don't" I replied. So this is the truth. We taught Jon to ride a bike, rather like the one in the picture and then he weedled his way in with us until such time as we couldn't get rid of him. Mind you it helped with him being a qualified lorry and bus instructor and with the advent of the driver CPC he was an immediate choice to fill our one little gap. He covers the North West Region for us for everything CPC and but can sometimes be found at our Head Office from where we struggle to get rid of him. His fiancee is fit though, and clever, so that's a bonus. At our place, he is known as Jonny Waffle. If you meet him, you will soon understand why. His girlfriend is a schoolteacher who is blessed with a beautiful face, an hour glass figure, luscious long legs, come to bed eyes, but clearly lacks something in the mental department to have saddled herself with Jonny. AND WHAT ABOUT THE COMPANY?..... Fast-Trak Driver & Rider Training Ltd was established in 1993 with one car, two motorcycles and one member of staff, operating from a converted craft centre in Shrewsbury, Shropshire. But with progress being our middle name, we have never stood still, developing new courses and taking whatever steps have been necessary to stay ahead in a fast changing transport industry. Nowadays we have our own five thousand square feet purpose built building housing what was a motorcycle shop but is now a dedicated training centre. The centre itself has a number of specialist departments, each with its own staff but all conveniently under one roof. We train driving and motorcycle instructors and conduct fleet management courses for small companies and large corporations. We also conduct training for the C.P.C. for goods vehicles. For all training courses we are government approved. In late 2008, we ceased to trade under the Fast- Trak Driver & Rider Training name, stopped selling motorcycles, and opened our training only company, the Fast-Trak Accreditation Centre Ltd, which, as the name might suggest, has been established to accredit a number of courses from tiny little motor scooters, to great big lorries, and just about everything else in between. You can find out more about each department by clicking on the Fast-Trak front page and then on the appropriate area. Apart from our Shropshire head office, we have an affilliated training base in Ireland, a summer training base on the Rhine in Germany, and a touring agency on the Nevada/Arizona border of the USA from where we arrange our Route 66 and West Coast USA car and motorcycle tours. We also act as agents for the world-wide Route 66 Magazine, working on behalf of the publishers of this prestigious and sought after publication. So sought after in fact that some people actually buy the rights to display the logo even though they have absolutely no connection with what is a national institution. Have a mooch through our pages. If you see anything that takes your fancy, please see the link at the top of this page, or for more information, call us for an informal discussion.   spare photos spare photos

+++STOP PRESS+++ AUGUST 2010...A TREASURE HUNT CHALLENGE FOR CHILDREN'S HOSPICE "HOPE HOUSE" Well, we did it and what a week (and a bit) it was. Day one, two of our bikes crashed, first one ran out of road the second one ran over the first one. One knackered ankle, a broken collar bone and arm a later, and with one in hospital, we did the biggest hills Europe had to offer. The Harley with us, couldn't quite get up the Stelvio in one go, but apart from that we got there and back. Oh, and we had a serious domestic as one couple went as a couple and came back as two singles. Next year, also for Hope House, I have absolutely no idea where we will be going. But keep looking here and you might be the first to know.     TOURING OFFERS You might never have been away on your bike and believe a two week holiday is too much for your first attempt. Look at our "We Want To Be Together Fast-Trak Motorcycle Touring Club" and think about ride outs or perhaps a long weekend on the Continent. A great way to start your biking adventures.       AMERICA OR BUST. (depends what sort of bust I suppose) Start a list of 50 things to do on a motorbike before you die. Then remove every one which involves a sex act. That leaves just the one then. And this is it. Get yourself a bike and ride it across California. The end. It really does not get any better than this. Check out our West Coast USA Tour for more details.